Due Sunday.

My dad and I agreed to one blog post a week.  He's worried that our writing skills will get rusty.  Seems he has good reason to feel this way, I cannot think of a single thing worth leaving in cyberspace for eternity (I know.  Doesn't work that way.  Probably).

Henry is lying next to me sleeping.  My hyperactive attempts at waking him up failed.  I took mercy on him and let him go back to sleep.  He started throwing around the words "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" last week.  I had a really weird moment where it just didn't compute.  I'm getting used to it, but it still just... I'm not even sure what those concepts really mean.   Except, "Well, I have a boyfriend," is a much simpler than, "Um.  I have this thing going with this guy that lives over an hour away from me.  It's kinda.. a thing.  NO!  He's not really my boyfriend, but..."  Whatever it's called, it's great.  I swear to god he can tell when I look at him.  Either he scrunches up his eyebrows a lot when he sleeps, or he can feel me looking at him.  And I'm going to stop right there before I spaz out about how adorable some people are when they're sleeping. 
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Okay, so I suppose I waited until the last minute here to get this posted up.  I'm too tired now to eloquently describe what is on my mind, but suffice it to say that I have found a happiness in love that I never thought I would find in my own life.  It feels so whole and healthy.   One of the realities of life that I have accepted and live by:  everything changes with time.  I hope that, no matter how time affects this, I hope I don't lose it.

For once in my life, damn near everything seems to be working out for me.  I'm so grateful.  Things are definitely not ideal still, but I can feel definite progress in the right direction in nearly every area.  I have a lot of debt to pay off, but I am quickly approaching the time when I'll be able to start paying it off.



My girls are such a source of fulfillment and pride for me.  There's nothing like the affection of your child, their excited voices, or watching their eyes absorbing whatever it is you're teaching them.  And you are teaching them every moment; for better or worse, if you're aware or not, they're learning from you.  I love being a mother.  These girls are so beautiful and intelligent.  There's another soul sleeping next to me as I type this second portion.  This time, it's Evelyn.  Her hand is curled up by my ear, she was playing with it as she fell asleep.   Her head is on my shoulder and she's got herself tucked close to me.  This squishy, sleeping face is also beautiful to me.  <3  I feel blessed.  If I died right now, I'd go out more whole, satisfied, proud, peaceful, and in love with everything in my life than I've ever been before.