Just breathe.

Sometimes you just have to admit defeat.

I have failed.  Somewhere along the line something went very wrong.

I don't have any more in me.  This is me giving in; letting it slip away.

Temporary perfection was so blissful. 

Never knew anything more beautiful.

Foolish.

I've been blundering around blindly lately.  Idiotic.  I've been finding pieces left and right, all the damage I created.  I'm putting it back to right slowly, but a few missing pieces and my own moronic fears and assumptions stopped me from seeing the bigger picture.  Now that I see it, it makes sense.  The problems weren't what I feared, hated, or desperately fought.  It was something else all along and I made it worse by feeling that way.  The problem has been here all along, but it's something I haven't SEEN all along.  And the solution is what I want just as desperately.  Everything else just melts away. 

This is something I AM able to help, even if it will take time and an indirect approach.  I will see a light in those eyes again.